Karl has a ‘long, stabby thing’, Lisa a sword, Ben some golf clubs to whack someone off from a distance…

“I really don’t believe in abortion.” – Justin Bieber, in the latest issue of Rolling Stone.

When asked “how about in cases of rape,” Bieber responded: “Um. Well, I think that’s really sad, but everything happens for a reason.”

Hawaii state legislators on Wednesday approved civil unions for gay couples, and Gov. Neil Abercrombie said he would sign it into law.

Seven-time Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong officially announced his retirement from the world of professional cycling Wednesday, saying that he wants to devote more time to his family and the fight against cancer.

Armstrong, 39, issued a statement saying his “focus now is raising (his) five children, promoting the mission of LIVESTRONG (Global Cancer Campaign), and growing entrepreneurial ventures with our great corporate partners in the fight against cancer.”

Armstrong first announced his retirement in 2005, but he then attempted a comeback.

A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it’s like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I’ve done it.