Category: Funny

Squirrels. Is there anything they can’t do? First, they amaze us with their abilities to leap from tree to tree. Then, they get to our birdseed no matter what type of heavy artillery we have guarding it. Seriously, they do some crazy maneuvers that they had to have picked up from watching Cirque du Soleil. Maybe that’s the secret – they don’t hibernate in the winter. They all fly to Florida and spend their winter studying Cirque du Soleil performances at Disney World.

Anyway, we busted some squirrels and found out that they’ve been stealing more than just birdseed. They’ve figured out how to put speakers into realistic looking wooden acorns. Not only that, the acorns work as FM radios, giving the squirrels instant access to news, music, and most importantly, the weather forecast.

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I’m really into whiskey, but I think I’ll pass on tasting Gilpin Family Whisky. Why? Because this single malt whiskey is made from urine. Specifically, it’s made from the sugar rich urine of elderly diabetics.

Here’s some neat history: the Ancient Greeks did not consider the Unicorn a mythological creature – they believe it was real! Some people think this is silly, but we know the truth. Unicorns are real. They are a consolidation of everything right, good, honest, and innocent in the universe – and they fart rainbows. And when Unicorns fart rainbows, sometimes little pellets fall out. Pixies (also real) collect these pellets and package them as Freakin’ Magical Unicorn Gum.

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A video in which John Green discusses his virulent hatred for pennies and nickels, two utterly irrelevant coins that inexplicably remain money in the United States of America. It costs more than 1.7 cents to make a 1 cent penny coin in the US; nickels are even more ridiculous, costing more than nine cents to produce.