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How to Make a (Good) Living As a Human Lab Rat

It became very clear to me sometime in my early 20s that working for a living was a complete scam.

After a couple of years spent clocking in 40-hour weeks, I realized that I wanted nothing to do with a system that offered me such meager compensation and ate up so much of my time. In a perfect world, my time would be mine to travel, learn to play the melodica and the sitar, download pornography, cry myself to sleep, play video games, cry in the shower, watch countless episodes of “Justice League Unlimited” in an unbroken stream and visit the finest restaurants in town, where I could sneak off into the bathroom and cry in seclusion.

And so I became a lab rat.

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