Oh it starts out okay. You have a few stroking parties, just to test how far you want to take it. “Sure,” you think to yourself, “it’s wrong, but everyone does it and I have to try it.” And then that thinking takes you into a lapcat club, where pussies are purring and who are you to resist? And before you know it, you’re being nuzzled by a ginger tom with a history of shitting outside the litter tray, But you need that buzz, man. You NEED the whiskers to brush past your face. You NEED NEED NEED that knead knead knead…
And so it ends. A picture on Facebook of your shame and the job that kept your habit going is over. And then spiral crashes into the abyss and you find yourself jumping into the lion’s den. Literally, a lion’s den. ‘Cos the zoo keeper understands, he sees it every damn day. Just another victim of the crazy cat party lifestyle.
